A Couple of Weeks(?) In

My baby's hand holding my husband's hand. Done on the 11th May as he turned 20 months.

I've been trying to draw daily. I really have. But I have missed a few days, and most of the time I'm really only drawing every second day or so. But I am trying! I actually find it really challenging to do something everyday as I either don't feel like it or something else comes up in my limited toddler-free time! Anyway, it's currently 11:30pm (WAY past my bedtime! LOL), and I can't sleep, so here I am. 

I've never been someone who's really into "art" per se. I've always "just" wanted to draw or design nice things. I've never really delved deeply into "art" and the subjectivity of a lot of it. In all honesty, I often found a lot of it just too convoluted and irrelevant to me. And even though I often did quite well in them, I never really saw the point of writing long essays on artworks. That said, I've been surprised at how personal my little "daily" drawing project sometimes becomes. I assumed I'd "just" draw things that were on my mind at the different times, but in putting pencil or pen to paper, I've found these little sketches becoming more personal than I originally intended. 

My toddler found great joy in playing with bubbles and his daddy. It makes me really happy to see his joy in life's small things...

Anyone who follows me on Facebook or Instagram will have (likely) seen these pics and others. And the things I've written about/with them have ended up being more personal than I intended as well. I then look back and think 'oh, I really didn't mean to share that much, but oh well, it's done now'!

The caption I wrote with this on Instagram was: "I don't have a lot of faith in people. People have never really done well by me. And I've never really been good at getting on with them. I was bullied or simply ignored throughout school, and I was nasty to others growing up as well. My faith in others decreases all the more when I see Donald Trump stories and the comments his followers make; I worry not only for this country but for the world if he becomes president. I haven't got a lot of close friends, and I don't have lifetime friendships the way many people do. I have done things I will regret forever, and things that others have done that I will never forget.
Yet despite all of this, there are flickers of hope in there. My family has always been there for me, and I have the most amazing, caring husband. We have a son who is already everything I'm not, and the friends I do have, I care for so much because true friendships are a rarity for me. I consciously need to remind myself daily of these people who mean the world to me, and I hold onto the hope that perhaps there is more good in people than I often give credit for."
Seems a bit personal when I look back on it, but I've just been drawing what's going through my head at the time, and those were my thought processes at that moment. It's sort of cathartic in some ways...

And now I think I really should go sleep as my eyes feel very heavy...